


With You I Serve (With You I Fall Down)

by FanFreak611



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Epic Friendship, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I love their friendship okay?, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Episode: s04e16 Mr. Yin Presents..., Pre-Episode: s04e16 Mr. Yin Presents..., References to the end of s3 and a lot of s4, Relationship Study, and they were best friends, probably could be rated G but I put T just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFreak611/pseuds/FanFreak611
Summary: Shortly after rescuing Juliet from the clocktower, Carlton takes some time to reflect on how his relationship with his partner has changed. Though he isn't quite sure what exactly changed it.(Or a look into Carlton and Juliet's friendship throughout season 4)
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter & Juliet O'Hara, Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer (Mentioned)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	With You I Serve (With You I Fall Down)

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another fic that I wrote a while ago and just finished writing/editing. (I really need to stop doing that lol) I love Juliet and Carlton's friendship and I love analyzing episodes that's why this fic was born. Also I have a lot of headcanons/feelings about 3x15 and 3x16 which is why I chose to start there. If you wanna chat about them feel free to hit me up on Tumblr @someonefantastic or catch me on the psych discord!
> 
> Also I wrote this fic before Taylor Swift's new album came out but I didn't realize how much "epiphany" actually applies to this story, hence the title inspo. So feel free to listen to that while reading if you want. Enjoy!

Carlton wasn’t sure when but somewhere along the road, his and Juliet’s partnership had turned into something more, something deeper. 

It wasn’t romantic- he had been down that road before and wasn’t too keen on letting it happen again- but it was different, a feeling or a bond that he had never experienced before. Somewhere along the line, something had changed.

Perhaps it was because she was the first person he told when the divorce papers were finalized, the admission quiet and restrained but was met with a warm hug, the contact something he didn’t realize he needed until that moment. Or maybe it was when she called him up, hours after they arrested Yang, her voice raw and cracked. She didn’t explain the details but he knew a broken heart when he heard one. So he shoved his personal feelings aside and showed up at her door with icecream and a handful of his favorite action movies ready to let both of them drown their feelings in bad food and great films. 

It’s possible though that something changed when he grew more comfortable asking her for favors. Like when he stopped her in the precinct and begged her to let him use her miles- knowing she had amassed a large amount due to her frequent trips to and from Miami- to catch the one man he had been after for many years. Or maybe it happened minutes later when he agreed to let her come along knowing they both needed an adventure outside of the norm. Or when he asked her for help on a personal case, knowing the chief had given them clear instructions not to investigate but by Jove, he would do everything in his power to keep the one good part of his childhood from being destroyed. She didn’t question him for a second but instead dove headfirst into the investigation. 

Maybe it was when she worked so hard to make sure he was safe, searching high and low for his attempted assailant and eventually sticking her neck out so that he would have a shot at the case. He knew he had annoyed her with his constant badgering but he could see it in her eyes, she was worried about him.

Or when Spencer got himself shot and kidnapped and the two worked late into the night doing their best to wrap up the case as soon as humanly possible. He knew that something was bugging her, that it went further than her worry about Shawn, but he didn’t push the matter. It wasn’t until they finished up their paperwork and were about to head out that she quietly admitted that Shawn had told her that he loved her, except he really didn’t since the admission was meant for Abigail, the whole situation reopening those previous feelings. He didn’t quite understand, but he didn't have to. Having someone to listen was enough.

Possibly though, it was when her brother came into town and her happiness was so infectious, it even caused him to smile for more than eight minutes at a time. He had never had a brother and due to his age gap with Lauren, never experienced a big brother-little sister relationship like the O’Hara’s but watching their bond made him wish, if just for a second, that he had a relationship like theirs. It wasn’t until after she had arrested Ewan and he invited her to drown her sorrows at Tom Blair’s Pub that he realized he already had a relationship like that.

Perhaps it was weeks later when she was expected to meet her college boyfriend, the date something that made her smile consistently for the first time since Ewan. It was almost natural at this point for her to confide in him, to tell him all about their promise to meet seven years in the future and get coffee. She was hopeful, couldn’t wait to see him again, and see if the spark was still there. And even afterward, when he failed to show up or later when he did show up but they were both such different people that she didn’t know where to start, he had continued to be the consistent ear. Most people wouldn’t talk to him about their personal lives but she had shared far more than he ever thought anyone would and he was more than happy to share his words of wisdom back. 

There were smaller moments too, little bits in time that punctuated the change. Like a favorite snack on one of their desks after a particularly rough day or an added boldness when it came to vouch for the other person. He assumed it was a build-up of all these moments that truly added to the change but the realization did not occur to him until one particular night. A night that he would never forget.

It was exactly fourteen hours after Yin, fourteen hours after that terrible moment where he burst through the door and saw her there, strapped to the edge. Fourteen hours of paperwork and statements and doing his best to make sure she felt safe even though they both knew she would never feel safe again, at least not completely. Fourteen hours and now here they were. 

He was lounging on the far side of her couch, clad in a button-up shirt and khakis- his casual outfit. Well lounging as best as he could. There was a gun in his holster and two more hidden but within grabbing distance. They were watching Grease and he glanced over at her, huddled on the other side of the couch, wrapped in a blanket, her pink pajamaed shoulders peeking out from the top. She was watching the movie in rapt attention but he knew she was just trying to forget, just like he was. 

But he couldn’t forget, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. He couldn’t forget the pit in his stomach when Guster explained what happened or when the search of the tunnels came up empty. He couldn’t forget how lost he felt when he realized there was nothing he could do, that he couldn’t search or shoot his way out of this problem, that her fate was in Yin’s- and subsequently Spencer’s- hands. Nor could he forget the pain in his chest when he heard her voice over the phone, could hear just how scared she was despite her deceptively calm tone. The tiny sliver of hope that came from figuring out where she was which was quickly mixed with a strong determination and disregard for orders because he just had to make sure his partner was okay, to see her safe again. The way his chest felt tight and his stomach was knotted as he drove to the clocktower, going way over the speed limit but he just didn’t care. The feeling had persisted all the way up the stairs, and even though he was out of breath when he reached the top, his breath wasn’t really taken away until he saw her, strapped to a chair and dangling off the edge. He had never truly felt panic until he looked at the time and realized that they didn’t have much left. 

He especially would never be able to forget how she didn’t move a muscle until she was untied and on solid ground, how she seemed almost resigned to her fate. Or how, even when she was free, she stood quietly off to the side, answering everything with cold professionalism. She had seemed so stony like she wanted to be incapable of breaking.

The one moment though, that would stay with him until he died, was when she finally did break. He could never forget her eyes, the way the fight drained out of them and quickly filled with tears. Nor how she practically collapsed into his arms, seeking solace or comfort or something he didn’t know if he could provide. He had never seen her that vulnerable and was torn between being honored that she trusted him enough to let him past her walls and devastated that she even had to in the first place. 

As he watched her out of the corner of his eye, he reflected on those moments. He had been so scared of losing her, could barely handle the thought of what would have happened if they were even five minutes later. He wasn’t sure when exactly they became so close, what had changed for their partnership to be much deeper. He guessed that it was a build-up of many shared moments, but he decided at that moment that they weren’t just partners anymore. What they had gone through, what they had experienced in the past four years, especially what had happened in the past year, had changed them both. They had formed a bond, a strong bond that went deeper than anything Carlton had experienced in his life. 

There was one word that he could think of to describe him and Juliet and that was _family_.


End file.
